Tag Archives: love

My parents are 30 years!


Dearest Mom and Dad,

Today you are both celebrating the fact that you have a child who made it to 30 years. I’m celebrating the fact that you made it 30 years into parenthood without killing your mischievous offspring. *hahah* For that I thank you dearly as I’m thrilled to be alive, to meet this milestone. I know you love me and are proud of me and all that good stuff. I also know that there were trying times when I was a less than disciplined child. Let’s celebrate the fact that all three of us made it this far in life together!!!

Most people would do a birthday post with their achievements so far in life and maybe some resolutions for the next couple years. I think the distance from home has put me in a ‘reflective’ mood this year. I don’t want to look to the future; I want to look at my past – relive some of the things that have made me who I am today.

You might not realise it but there are many things I’d like to remind you of right now. Let’s call this a trip down memory lane from my point of view:

  • IMG_1842Mom, I remember quite a few times you would chase me to give me some ‘good lashes.’ Come on, Mom! Why would anyone refer to a spanking as ‘good’??? I don’t see what was so ‘good’ about those! Therefore, I ran away, even when you called me. *smirks* I probably deserved quite a lot of those. Okay! I probably deserved all as you never raised you hand at me unless I was really horrid. However, let’s look at the good side of those ‘spanking chases’: (1) I helped to keep you fit Mom, and, (2) I learned to hide my mischief more efficiently, thus, you were less stressed out and forced to discipline me! Win-win.
  • IMG_0531I remember the time Dad forgot me at school when I was in Form 2. I still don’t know what happened that day. I remember sitting under that tree in the school yard and waiting and waiting and still no Dad. Finally, at about 5pm (he’d normally get me at 3:30pm and take me to the office) I called him only to find out that he was almost home – at the head of the street. I think he broke a few speed limits that day because in a matter of 10 minutes he was there for me. Mom, we never told you this then cause I got bribed with the promise of ice-cream but I’m happily sharing this now as I don’t think he ever did fulfill that bargain. *evil grin*

Yes, I shared a few ‘bad memories’ first. They make me laugh when I think of them. In addition, as I grew older, the ‘parent training’ of you two became easier and you stopped spanking me and forgetting me. I think we turned out okay…


Now, for some of the good memories:

  • IMG_0304Mom, do you remember holding my hand and taking me to nursery school? This should have taken us a maximum of 10 minutes walking but it invariably turned into about half hour. The reason was because I needed to say ‘good morning’ to everyone I saw on the way and would also strike up conversations with the old ladies in the street. You taught me early in life to be polite to people and to enjoy the simple things in life.
  • Dad, do you remember the time when you were at home with me when I was in Prep A? You would help me to get dressed for school and we were both challenged with the task of combing my hair! Then you would take me to school; you were the only Dad among all the mothers – I was very proud about this. Every afternoon I’d stand up in class and peep through the window and you would be there under the tree outside the compound waiting to take me home. That taught me the security of having a family.
  • 100_0174Mom, I remember you carrying me down this long road to a clinic when I was very sick. I used to wonder if that road would ever end and I’d feel myself slipping away from you because I was always so tired and you would instinctively hold me tighter to prevent me from falling. The sun was always hot and you had to juggle an umbrella and a sick child, yet you never dropped me. Dad, I remember that the only thing I really wanted to eat besides mashed potatoes when I was sick was noodle soup. Mom didn’t know how to prepare it at that point in time so you bought the packets and would cook it for me when you came home from work. There were times I wasn’t totally conscious but whenever I opened my eyes either one of you or both of you would be there. I also remember a kitten – all over black with a white star on his neck and green eyes. I’m not sure now if he was real or a figment of my imagination as he disappeared when I got well. Was he real? Anyways, these things taught me that true love from a parent is a joy that is felt and comes from small things in life – a hug, a smile, time spent with each other.
  • HPIM0061I remember that I failed math (miserably) when I changed schools. I was so devastated that I cried and cried and cried. Dad, you spent that Christmas vacation teaching me arithmetic so that I won’t fail again. Then, once we’ve conquered that challenge, you taught me advanced algebra so I’ll feel good about myself. This empowered me to keep on trying even when I failed.
  • IMG_0384There was this period of time when I would go to Modo’s after school because you were attending afternoon classes in order to enter CPCE, Mom. Even when you fulfilled the ‘traditional’ roles of a woman (mother and wife) you pursued your dreams. The joy I would feel when I stood on that side step and saw you coming up the road was surreal. We’d walk home hand in hand and talk about our days – well mostly me as I was and still can be a talkative person. It taught me to follow my dreams, never give up!
  • I remember the first time I saw Bringle – my first dog ever! He was a cute little grey mongrel with a cold black nose and a curled tail and I fell in love with him on sight! Neither of you told me I was getting a dog but simply said that there was something downstairs for me after I heard the gate open and close. He was quite possibly the BEST PRESENT EVER! Following Bringle, the adoption of random strays over the years taught me compassion and provided a foundation to nurture my love of animals.
  • 100_0387Our home is a home because it is a place where those in need can find shelter – there is always a meal to be had and friendly advice. This was proven time and again when family and friends would visit. I have these images in my head of you two hanging out with my friends – even when said friends came to see ME. The guys would go sit and chat with Dad for a few minutes or watch television. Mom would hang out with us in the living room after work on the occasions she came home to an ‘invasion’. This wasn’t restricted to the physical location but the many times Mom would cook us dinner (little rotis with curry and tea) and Dad would transport them to the university when we wanted to stay late for one reason or another.
  • IMG_3503Dad you taught me to play cricket – even when you didn’t initially approve of me pursuing a sport when I had studies. You instructed me on how to keep a good line and deliver a ball, how to catch and how to bat. I never was and never will be a great cricketer but I was good enough to captain the girls’ team at QC for three years and was even awarded the School Colours Medal. This support extended to other hobbies as well and I’m happy you encouraged me to pursue my dreams, also.
  • Mom, every time I was on stage for a prize giving ceremony or for a graduation, I would instinctively look for you in the crowd. I don’t know if you know this but it’s true. Both Dad and you contributed to my education in many ways. But I remember you first because I remember doing homework or assignments and meals would miraculously appear next to me. I’d eat and the empty plates and cups would disappear. You did magic! You taught me to write – not my nursery school teacher. You are my first teacher and considering where I am now, you have a lot to be proud of Teacher Pan!

There are so many more memories, great memories, that I can share; but there isn’t enough time or space for me to write them down. You two have always been the foundation of my life and no matter what I chose, even if you thought I could have made a better choice, you supported me. Every success I’ve had in life is because of you and I’ll never forget it. You made home a place where I feel safe. You made me the woman I am today – confident, kind and giving. The best lessons in life came not from my classrooms but from you two and I thank you for them.

I love you two. Knowing you return this love makes me strong enough to conquer the world! Happy 30 years of parenthood to you!!!




Reflections, metaphor and literal…

2015 – Project 52 / 52Frames / A Picture a Week Challenge

Week 10 – Reflections

Week 10 - 2015 Project 52 - Reflections, metaphor and literal...
Week 10 – 2015 Project 52 – Reflections, metaphor and literal…

After two weeks of not so great pictures, I was determined to ensure I had something solid for this week. I worked a bit with this challenge and I’m very happy with the results. It was just simply about moving the subject around until I found something that worked.

The write up about this image provided for my 52Frames submission: “I had quite a few of these but this one was my favourite – it might not be the best but it was my favourite. I recently found out that he doesn’t read music, he listens and replays so I found that back story to be equally important as using a mirror. His love for music seems to come through this picture, for me at least…”

For more of my photography, check out my Facebook Page: TR Pixel Addiction.


2015 – Project 52 / 52Frames / A Picture a Week Challenge

Week 09 – Black and White

Week 09 - 2015 Project 52 - Forever
Week 09 – 2015 Project 52 – Forever

The story: I miss home; I miss my mom and dad. The ring with three hearts was given to me on my 13th Valentine by my parents – one heart for each of us as we are a small nuclear family. The other ring is an unpolished diamond from my country that my dad gave to my mom on my 18th Valentine. Mom gave me the ring as it cannot fit her anymore. Sometimes, the simplest photographs tell the most meaningful stories. I wanted to ensure that the focus was where I wanted it so I kept it very simple this week..

My thoughts on black and white photography: From the moment I saw the challenge, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to do. I have noticed that too many people hide mistakes with black and white processing (I’ve been guilty of this also); however, there’s an art to it. I don’t think I’ve nailed the art but at least  I’ve changed my thinking about this kind of photography overall.

Don’t take it for granted that you just have to worry about ‘black’ and ‘white’ and not too many other things. I think this makes it even hard because your other skills are truly tested: composition, story, lighting, etc. I kept it simple this week as I’m bouncing back from two weeks of ‘laziness’ – I didn’t want to do the ‘go big or go home’ thing as it would have been too easy to mess that up. Thus my image for this week.

Some other images from that experiment:

For more of my photography, check out my Facebook Page: TR Pixel Addiction.


2015 – Project 52 / 52Frames / A Picture a Week Challenge

Week 06 – Love Story

One would think that love stories are easy to tell and to represent in images since “love is all around us”. This might be true as many of the other photographers in this challenge on 52Frames came up with beautiful images for this week. However, LOVE, in my experience, is an emotion that is easy to feel but when it comes to describing and representing it in any form it’s not that easy.

In addition, I’ve seen both sides of the ‘love’ coin – the happy and the sad. Thus, my image this week. Love doesn’t always last… I choose to show the other side of the coin from happiness…

Week 05 – Project 52 – UOH, Hyderabad
Week 06, 2015 – Good bye

This image appealed to me because  it subtly tells the love story I like: the good-bye aspect. Not all love stories finish in the ‘happily ever after’ paradigm. Thus, you learn to live every moment and love like there’s no tomorrow… 

For more of my photography, check out my Facebook Page: TR Pixel Addiction.

Love is crazy…

2014 – Project 52 – Week One

Week 1: Jan 01 - Jan 07 Title: Love is crazy... Location: Home, ECD, Guyana
Week 1: Jan 01 – Jan 07
Title: Love is crazy…
Location: Home, ECD, Guyana

Expressing myself through my art has become quite easy for me; the hard part actually comes when I let put my work where members of the public can view and critique it. As an artist, albeit a rather new and unknown one still learning the ropes, I capture and present things based on my creative direction; my personal experiences. This background does not lend itself to the public; they will see and judge a photograph based on their personal experiences – not mine. Therefore, how I perceive my art is not how someone else would perceive it.

Week One for ‘2014 – Project 52‘ (a picture a week challenge) saw me experimenting with controlled lighting and  subject in motion. After about an hour and quite a few (hundred?) clicks, I got something I was satisfied with. It might seem confusing to others but, to me, it makes perfect sense! Let me try and bring you all in the loop…

I didn’t really plan to have this kind of a conceptual photograph but as the week was coming to a close and I was lagging behind my other (fourteen?) photographer friends doing this challenge with me, I needed to photograph something. I remember strolling through my home and this nice little ornament was spinning slowly due to the air passing through the house. The way the light caught the dangling hearts as they swung around caught my eye and I knew I found a subject.

The ornament at rest
The ornament at rest

At first, I only wanted to get a picture of the ornament but for some reason I wasn’t getting what I wanted – the light wasn’t correct/what I was seeing in my head. I then tried variations with the background to see if that would help to make the ornament ‘pop’ more but the same problem – it wasn’t quite right! Then I figured that I should use a torch light – get a rim light going but I failed to consider the fact that the ornament was spinning because I had put the fan on behind it.

After a lot of failed attempts to get an image that I would like, I finally sat for a bit and thought about it. As I was watching the ornament and the hearts rotating, the thought ‘love is crazy’ came to me. I then decided to go with this idea and try to represent that.

Breaking it down, step by step:

Step One – I placed a black shawl over a chair so that I  can get a solid background to work with.

Step Two – I placed the ornament on the chair at an angle and replaced the inner light with a dried flower I had.

Step Three – I placed a ring I have with three hearts a bit infront of the ornament as I wanted this to be the focus.

Step Four – I put on the torch light so that it light the ring and cast a double heart shadow.

Step Five – I put the fan back on so that the hearts would rotate and tried to capture the perfect motion blur.

Step Six – I set the camera on a book on my bed and set it to remote as I realised my hand clicking the button caused the image to be blurry.

Step Seven – I took the picture… 🙂